What happens at a funeral?
Understanding what happens at a funeral in advance can often provide comfort and understanding on the day itself. A funeral is a ceremony to honour and remember the life of someone who has passed away. The event often includes a procession of the deceased’s family and friends, a formal service with eulogies, readings, music, and prayers or reflections, followed by a burial or cremation.
Afterwards, there’s typically a gathering or wake for attendees to offer condolences and share memories. The specifics of funerals will vary widely based on cultural, religious, and personal preferences.
Funeral Services from Simple Send-Offs
If you are based in Wirral, Bebington, Bromborough, Birkenhead and the surrounding areas, Tom and Liz at Simple Send-offs can offer much-needed support and advice in arranging a funeral lone or for yourself as part of a pre-paid plan.
As well as an experienced, guiding hand during difficult times, we offer funeral solutions which can be more affordable than traditional high street funeral directors. We are focused on making the funeral process as straightforward as possible and our mission is to support our clients with a quality service with value in mind.
Call 0800 246 5292 or (0151) 630 0050 to Discuss your funeral options with our friendly team.
Read on for an overview of the common practices and components you can expect to see at a funeral.
What to expect from a funeral
Funerals are an important ritual across cultures that aim to honour loved ones when they die and provide closure for those left behind. The specifics can vary based on personal wishes, religious customs, and cultural traditions but understanding the overall process can help attendees know what to expect and enable event planners to create meaningful services.
There are many ways a funeral can be tailored to honour an individual’s life. Some choose traditional religious ceremonies led by a priest or funeral celebrant, whilst others opt for a more informal remembrance led by a friend or family member.
Decisions about what will happen to the body after death, such as burial, cremation, or donation to science, can be made in advance. Adding personal touches like clothing, music, readings, photos and videos can help convey the personality and spirit of the deceased throughout the service.
Pre-funeral preparations
Whilst most of the funeral preparation happens in the days and weeks before the service, having conversations about your wishes far in advance can greatly reduce stress for family members when the time comes.
As a result, pre-planning and prepaying for funerals has become an increasingly popular option. Making funeral arrangements ahead of time and sharing these with your loved ones, allows you to make your preferences known whilst providing comfort and clarity for your loved ones later on when they’re grieving.
Pre-Planning: This involves specifying your preferences for the services and arrangements in advance. Components like readings, music, clothing, and officiant can all be detailed. Pre-planning can be done independently or through a funeral home.
Prepaid Funerals: To reduce the financial burden on loved ones, you can choose to pre-pay for some or all funeral costs in advance. These payments go into a trust until the time they are needed and prepaid funeral plans can be transferred if you move locations before passing away.
Funeral Director: After death, a funeral director will help carry out the arrangements for a funeral according to the deceased’s wishes. They will coordinate with the crematorium, cemetery, officiant, florist, and others behind the scenes, along with any paperwork involved.
Preparing the Body: A funeral director also oversees the preparation of the body before the ceremonies. This preparation usually includes bathing and dressing the deceased and finally the body is placed in a coffin.
Other tasks such as writing obituaries, arranging travel for guests that don’t live nearby, and ordering flowers or donations, also occur leading up to the funeral. This careful planning and coordination allow the service itself to run smoothly with a focus on remembering and honouring the loved one who has passed.
The day of the funeral service
There are plenty of options for how you can choose to honour your loved ones through a funeral. Key components may include a procession to the ceremony location, service or reception of the body, and a final commitment of burial or cremation follows. Equally, many people choose not to have formal service and choose to have a direct cremation where no gathering is held.
Our role as funeral directors is to assist you in creating a service that beautifully reflects their personality and wishes.
Procession: You may wish to have a procession accompanying the coffin from the home to the ceremony location. The immediate family often rides together behind the hearse but this solemn journey can provide comfort and closure.
Arrival: When the funeral procession arrives, pallbearers will lift the coffin and carry it inside before the service begins.
The Service: The service itself follows your unique wishes to commemorate your loved one. Traditional components can include eulogies, readings, music, and words from a religious leader if you desire. We will display any memorabilia you select to share their story.
Children Attending: Deciding if children should attend funerals is a personal choice for parents. Whilst it can be difficult, with guidance it may help them understand death. Be honest about what they will see and allow them to be involved as it feels right.
Most importantly, we will help you to shape the events around your loved one as an individual. A funeral can be religious or secular, formal or informal – whatever is most meaningful. Our goal as funeral directors is to ensure the service provides the closure, comfort, and remembrance you seek.
Types of Funeral Services
The type of funeral service is personal, based on your loved one’s wishes and what would hold meaning for your family.
Cremation: For cremation, the process may happen before, during, or after a service. If it is carried out prior to a service, an urn containing the ashes can be present instead of a coffin.
Burial: A traditional burial involves bringing the coffin from the ceremony to the graveside in a procession. At the plot, pallbearers gently lower the coffin as final prayers and remarks are made. Family and friends can take turns sprinkling a handful of earth before it is fully covered. Grass, headstones, and personalised memorials can then be added.
Special Services: Special services like green or woodland burials are also increasing in popularity. Donating remains to science is another meaningful option. Your funeral director will be able to guide you through all the personalised options available.
Post-funeral gatherings
Helping other mourners gather to continue connecting after the service is also part of honouring the deceased. Post-funeral gatherings allow more time for sharing stories, receiving emotional support, and commemorating someone’s impact on their community.
Funeral Reception: It is common to host a reception following the funeral, often at a relative’s home, restaurant, community centre, or place special to the deceased although this is a matter of personal choice. Food and drinks are served while people mingle and provide mutual support. Any stories not shared at the service may be told then and it’s common for pictures, videos, or other meaningful objects to be displayed.
Memorial Services: A separate memorial service may be held weeks or months later for those unable to attend the first funeral ceremony or when services are delayed. Ashes may be interred afterwards and annual memorial events are common to mark anniversaries and maintain a bond.
Funeral etiquette and expectations
Attending a funeral usually means adhering to certain etiquette standards out of respect for the family and solemnity of the occasion. Understanding expectations for dress codes, behaviour, communication, and emotional reactions will allow you to focus on honouring the deceased most respectfully.
Dress code: In terms of attire, most find dark, subdued clothing most appropriate. Some people may request all black, while others incorporate celebratory touches. Dresses, suits or at a minimum collared shirts and trousers are typical.
Behaviour: During the service, quiet and respectful conduct is appreciated. Please silence phones and follow cues from the officiant on when to sit, stand, or come forward.
Communication: If conversing with immediate family, simple phrases like “You have my deepest condolences” or “I’m so sorry for your loss” are best. Saying little can be better than the wrong thing if unsure. Do offer help with meals or tasks in the days ahead and above all, know that your support is appreciated.
Emotional Reactions: Allow yourself to cry and feel sadness or anger and be supportive of others’ emotional states too.
Funeral Duration
Funerals can last anywhere from an hour to the better part of a day depending on the type of service selected and traditions involved. Knowing the general time frames involved and what dictates the length can help in setting your understanding of the day.
Typical Durations:
- Simple graveside service: 30-60 minutes
- Traditional funeral service: 1-2 hours
- Full traditional funeral with mass, processions, receptions: Full day
Influencing Factors:
- Religious components like communion, lengthy sermons, or rituals
- Number of speakers, family sharing memories, clergy
- Program details like live music, multiple poems or readings, military honours
- Logistics like moving locations, processions through town, or graveside rites
Scheduling: When scheduling the service, flexibility around start and end times is helpful and for those travelling long distances, encourage them to set aside the whole day off if possible.
Whilst we will provide estimated start times and duration, variations, delays, or even postponement in emergencies can occur. It’s advisable to build in an extra cushion when planning to accommodate this. The most important thing is allowing the time and space for a thoughtful, comforting service without guests feeling rushed.
Seeking support and resources
Planning a funeral service can be complex emotionally and logistically. Choosing the right funeral director can ensure you get the guidance, support and resources you need.
Funeral Homes: Funeral directors can explain your options, handle paperwork, answer questions morning or night, and coordinate everything. We suggest getting estimates from a few funeral homes to choose the one you feel most comfortable with.
Online Guides: There are also many online planning guides with funeral etiquette, typical program order, logistics help. Reading articles, watching informational videos, and using checklist tools can help your understanding too.
Support Groups: For those grieving, local bereavement support groups let you share stories and may help you to feel less alone. Grief counsellors can also help process emotions. Hospices often have resources for families even after a loved one passes. Again, your funeral director will be able to assist you in accessing these kinds of services.
Conclusion
Understanding what happens at a funeral can help to prepare you for the day. A funeral presents a final, meaningful opportunity to honour a cherished life and say goodbye. Whilst difficult, the services provide comfort through symbolism, rituals, and community, whilst still celebrating your loved one’s unique spirit.
The events provide structure and can typically include a procession, ceremony and gathering. Within this, funeral directors can help you to focus on the details from music to flowers to readings, each unique to your loved ones’ story.
Funerals remind us of the bonds we share across our lives. In grief, you are surrounded by compassion, love, and people wanting to lift your spirits. Though heartbreaking, funerals ultimately unite us in communities and cultures through life’s shared joys and trials.
At Simple Send-offs, we are committed to making this journey a bit easier for you with our straightforward, affordable funeral options. For a more detailed guide on what to expect and how to prepare, please visit our FAQs page.
